Struggling To Be Liked

There is an interesting aspect of our human personality that longs for us to be liked by everyone.  We struggle to please people so that praise and not criticism flows from their lips.  Most of us cringe at the thought of doing something or saying something that would incur another's wrath.  We will do most anything to be an accepted person, especially in the circle of folk we want to call friends.  It is amazing how much of our time and energy is spent in trying to make people believe we are one of them.  There is a sense in which we act like politicians trying to get elected to the office of "best liked."  We want to be everybody's candidate and number one in the opinion poll.

It's not an easy way to live for several reasons.  For one thing, when we try to be everybody's somebody we lose a bit of our integrity.  In trying to embrace everyone's opinion we compromise our own convictions.  Our need to be loved outweighs our commitment to truth.  We lose our identity by selling our souls in the bargain basement of popularity.  We become so open-minded that our brains fall out.  When this occurs we become only an echo of other people's positions.  We have no platform on which to stand up for what we think.  In essence, we become non-persons.

In our attempt to please everyone we jeopardize friendship.  In trying to be everyone's friend we end up being no one's real friend.  We appear to be wishy-washy and uncommitted to the disciplines of lasting friendships.  People are suspicious if we feel compelled to agree with them on everything.  We provide no challenge to their thought processes and thus have nothing of substance to offer a friendship.  We may have a lot of acquaintances but few real friends.

Jesus said for us to beware when everyone speaks well of us.  Of course He did not mean for us to purposely offend folk.  He was saying there are certain things basic to our Christian person hood which cannot be denied.  We must not compromise who we are in order to be well liked.  When we know the truth about ourselves and God and life and issues we are free to make a courageous commitment regardless of consequences.  Only those who like us for who we are and for what we stand can ever be considered real.

Adapted from a booklet "Another Perspective" by Dr. Calvin Metcalf