When people get a feeling that you are someone who can be counted, it becomes quite difficult to satisfy their expectations all the time. Say like all the moment you cannot always be the same kind of person you were a little while ago, just for the sake of that person unless you are a machine! I have faced similar situation. You cannot be like the person who the child expects a candy every time he meets you. But one thing that stops you from withholding the candy is, you don't want the child to be upset or make a fuss about your intention and start to cry! Such experiences happens frequently like, next day the person expects the same treatment given the other day or perhaps a little better, so much so that, the giver sometimes feels empty handed or is left with no more option! It becomes a burden to meet the other person the next time. So what we do is, we try to avoid that person in any case or make an excuse so as to let some moment of time get between them, meanwhile the 'giver' thinks of the other possible options to compensate.
So what I do know is, from the very first moment of meeting someone new, I try to be as an ordinary gentleman from the next street trying to figure out my way, without giving any hint to the other person that deep within I am an ever ready-to-help person...the rest I let time decide what will be the best moment to make my move. Sometimes it's good to take time to decide, to speak, to react, and so on... Because it helps us to make a complete stop to the momentum of making an unnecessary step, and take a step backward and see how it feels to look from behind.
What I learnt is, there is no harm in giving out help to others, but in the process...or in continuity of that practice, never let the other person step beyond the line where it would be difficult for you to take his feet off! You are going to either live with that or break it! Making others too dependent on us is harmful to them as well as ourselves. It is sometimes like petting a bird. Feeding it, and trimming it's feathers so that it will not fly away but return to us back when it is thirsty and hungry! We take away it's freedom to think and believe in what it is capable of doing, when it is away from us. In the same way we control their actions, emotions, potentials and their spirit to move on.
Let us understand that by helping others we are doing something important for their lives as well as it gives emotional and moral satisfaction to us. But remember, that is the first impact. Also remember the consequence of the matter as it continues. It is good to give, better to give all; but it is best to understand the matter of the fact, than by just giving.
So what I do know is, from the very first moment of meeting someone new, I try to be as an ordinary gentleman from the next street trying to figure out my way, without giving any hint to the other person that deep within I am an ever ready-to-help person...the rest I let time decide what will be the best moment to make my move. Sometimes it's good to take time to decide, to speak, to react, and so on... Because it helps us to make a complete stop to the momentum of making an unnecessary step, and take a step backward and see how it feels to look from behind.
What I learnt is, there is no harm in giving out help to others, but in the process...or in continuity of that practice, never let the other person step beyond the line where it would be difficult for you to take his feet off! You are going to either live with that or break it! Making others too dependent on us is harmful to them as well as ourselves. It is sometimes like petting a bird. Feeding it, and trimming it's feathers so that it will not fly away but return to us back when it is thirsty and hungry! We take away it's freedom to think and believe in what it is capable of doing, when it is away from us. In the same way we control their actions, emotions, potentials and their spirit to move on.
Let us understand that by helping others we are doing something important for their lives as well as it gives emotional and moral satisfaction to us. But remember, that is the first impact. Also remember the consequence of the matter as it continues. It is good to give, better to give all; but it is best to understand the matter of the fact, than by just giving.
