Still In The Lord

Hello Readers. Today, I am going to take you to a short ride into a little bit of my life. It will be about certain experiences I have come across while walking this challenging journey...the past and the road ahead. 

At one point of time, I was depressed and spiritually weakened because certain things in my life were not going as I expected. I know it was a really difficult moment for me. Moreover, it maybe a kind of a surprise for a person who was strong in the Lord to say that. I was wondering what actually went wrong? I was confused myself. I had a very good relationship with the Lord. I was eager for the Lord at certain point of my life. I have had both good moments and bad moments. The good ones during the peak of my spiritual activities and the bad ones when I was down respectively.

My good times were enjoyed mostly when I was around with good company of friends...fellow believers, church-goers, spiritual groups etc. I had full time to enjoy their fellowship and also with the Lord. Those were the times when almost everything in our lives revolved around God. It was a period full of activities for the Lord - religious programs, get-together, camps and retreats etc. It was a period when we would engage ourselves in hectic preparations for retreats and youth programs especially meant for the newly born again believers and also including those outreach mission plans to the unbelievers. At that point of time, our focus and priority was for them. Because we thought(well, believed) that they were the ones that needed help and we took the initiative in helping them realize their needs. We were more like the helpers and ushers in bringing them to the Lord. To be honest, we were all spiritually satisfied in seeing the results of our sweat and hard work. We were overjoyed on the fact that we believe we helped one soul come closer to God. Almost everywhere, our mission was to inspire and reach out one person at a time. We were able to achieve what we planned and succeeded most of the programs. We did experience and at the same time acknowledge that it was all because of the love and grace of God Himself that we were able to do and achieve all that. It was a great moment for me and I believe even my friends had the blast of their lifetime so far. It was during such moments that, to say a prayer for another person burdened with problem was on the tip of my tongue. To encourage the depressed and distressed was just a matter of few words, that revolved around the all-known and spoken facts about God's assurance, and His power to encompass all our worries with His peace and love. I am not saying that these are just plain words and have no significance at all, nonetheless, they are mostly practiced by many people just to make things easier for them, and to influence their thoughts upon others, so that it will create a sort of emotional and psychological suppleness upon the person to agree and accept what is being advised. However, there is a big caution in doing this. Do we really allow the Holy Spirit to take control or we(consciously or unconsciously) step in His place? Personally, I don't know how that is being done with others, however there were times where I stood in His time and made Him rush things because I was either in a hurry or doing things according to my convenience. The result was, the other person was doing great for some time, but the next moment, was back to where they started...still with the same problem.

The good times were the best times. It was a lot easier for me to sing, dance, say Hallelujah aloud. It's not that I cannot do it right now, but things have changed...greatly or let me say to some extend drastically. I have started to keep only the 'basic needs' in my spiritual life, leaving behind all those 'accessories' I had earlier. I have to admit this. Those 'accessories' did me good when I was at the peak of my spiritual career. They helped me reach out more people, to the extend of entertaining them for the Lord(I shouldn't have dragged God in here!). Well again I must admit, they made me popular among my friends. I was considered as an asset. Pretty obvious, during my good times everything was considered "for the Lord".

But like I said, things have changed. And I hope it is for the best. Between me and my God. Remember the 'accessories' I told you about, the things they did to me, made me to be, and even described little about myself? I realized that they were just "accessories" that adds to my 'basic needs'. They were useful tools, yet not quite specifically important at this point of my life. After saying this, I can visualize some of you questioning me, "Aren't those things that you consider as 'accessories' essentially your gifts?". I am going to say they are. But some of them are just partially gifts. You could say they are my abilities and strengths which are required at certain levels in my life. However, they are not necessary requirements that I cannot bear to live without, given the fact that they are glorifying God. Rather to be more specific, my inventory is full and I need only the basic requirement to keep things going between me and my God at this point. But this does not mean to say that recently I have become too selfish only to think of my own well being. I want them back too! I want those sweet memories of the fellowship to come back alive; singing, praising, and actively involved yet again! In fact, I can get them whenever I want them; because their value in my life depends on me. If I look for it, it become part of my life again, and they will certainly come and get me, but this time, my life is going to be wasted. Why wasted? Because they tend to become some sort of a distraction for me away from my focus in life at this juncture. They are blocking my view ahead. This is why I call them 'accessories'. I cannot hide my gifts from the world that has already seen my potentiality. Moreover, apart from those things there are also other things I need to shed off. So, I tag them as "useful but not important necessities".

To make my point clear and make things more lucid, I must quote the last words of King Leonidas I in the movie 300 where he said, "His helmet was stifling. It narrowed his vision, and he must see far. His shield was heavy. It threw him off balance...and his target is far away." Finally after all the fierce battle, King Leonidas figured out that all he needed at that very crucial moment to complete his mission was just his spear! So he got rid of some of the items from his inventory which he considered unnecessary to finish his task.

Similarly, I figured out that I only need some few things right now. Things that will keep me steadfast in my commitment with the Lord. I would prefer to keep things low for a while, or say like living a low profile life. I know, it's irresistible to go and have fun even though it is among good company, so much so that, a few occasions won't be much of a problem. There is nothing wrong or harm in engaging in those activities. I am not saying they are bad, however, before anything worthwhile is achieved in life for a once active youth like me, ultimately it just becomes meaningless if nothing is achieved in life. I maybe be of good help to others, why because everyone wants us, the strong and energetic for the task, and when we are engaged in that, our focus is tilted. It is good to help people with our time and talents which most of us do; however, the best contribution we could possibly give to others is our wisdom and resources both material and spiritual when we have reached our goals, and we can devote our time and talent then. We can do more than what we are doing now. There are certain things that lasts only for a while and they get replenished by new things, but there are other things that stays for a lifetime. I want us to figure that out. Right now, we can only give our time but not the resources that is needed because we are not in a position to help. But when you are in a better position, even if you cannot give your time, at least you will have something to offer, something that is much more than what time can buy. Moreover, you will not be there forever. Time changes and so does people. You get older same with your talents, and it will be time for you to step down. Now what are you going to do to help them after that? You gradually wear down, and slowly vanish from the scene because you will have nothing more to give than your talent which is now replaced. I was wondering the same thing. Let us focus only on the important things. But remember, there is still time for you and I to make the choice when we are still young. The right choice. Let us keep only what is necessary for us to stay afloat. You may see the valuable things underneath the ocean. The wide open opportunities calling us. You even get confused with your conscience whether it is wrong to decline or accept those. But remember that our aim is to stay afloat not dragged down by the treasures of the ocean lest you lose your life. Stay afloat and hold on to the line and God will draw you to safe shore. Some people may object this kind of attitude, however this is like a bitter pill which some of us refuses to swallow.

So I made my own decision. It made me confused at first, but I hope I made a good one. Now that my inventory is full, and has made my journey towards my goal difficult as it often diverts my focus, I have decided to remove the unnecessary items and just keep the most important ones. By doing this I may look vulnerable to any situation, and may appear indifferent to people. But that is exactly what I am doing. Remember just the basic needs. I still have a long way ahead of me. My life just got started and I don't want to make a wrong move. Time will bring me the opportunity to repay what I could not do while I was undergoing through a time of 'hibernation'. I am still in the hibernation stage. And during that time, I just need one thing to keep me afloat in the midst of all the calling. GOD. I am all alone now. Far away from all the atmosphere of the busy and hectic life I once had. Now, I can hear more clearly the voice inside me. I have time to be myself and share things with just one person, God. I can see the minutest things that I have overlooked and now I have time to check on them. I spend more time on me. Almost to the extend of forgetting what is happening in the areas where I was once active. I have lost some sense of touch in the things I was capable of. Things have become in a way repetitive for me. New things hardly take place. This is because of the decision I made. But the only change I see is everyday I find something to reflect my life upon. Every another day adds new questions for me to answer and to re-discover myself. Every day I find myself caught in the midst of a challenging hurricane. Nevertheless, I am not afraid to face them all. Since my life has now become more objective, I have only the important things to take care of not everything. I have unplugged many things from my life. I just have one item that is required to finish my goal in life. And that is God. No matter what people say or think of; though my friends become less; life gets boring; I Am Still In The Lord. He shall guide my direction and make my path straight. For I put my trust in the Lord and He will help me finish the task ahead of me.

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ." Philippians 1:6